Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
