oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
