I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just invented taco cereal.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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