Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I have fence marks all over my body
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
