I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
