Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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