Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
