And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
