Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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