I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
