i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
