what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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