if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
