Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
