the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
