I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
