Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
