I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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