I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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