what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
