The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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