i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
All the doctor said was why
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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