My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
