just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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