I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
