you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
