My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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