did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
