She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
