She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
