it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
