do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
