Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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