he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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