i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
