one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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