Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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