I wish I could teleport
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
