i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
PANTIES FOUND
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