He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
