I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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