this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
