I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
