you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
