That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
