Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
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