I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
false alarm, still single
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
