hotel room ftw
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
