So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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