All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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