Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
