Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
