well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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