I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
